Archive for the ‘Guest Posts’ Category

Looking for a play partner ?

By gypsycowgirl (FetLife)

* Re-posted with permission

I want to briefly touch on something I see posted on Fet all the time. People looking for play partners: a top, a bottom, a Dom, a sub, a casual thing, maybe a long term relationship.

As a woman on Fet my profile attracts a lot of people with foot fetishes, it’s just the nature of the game (and my pictures). I frequently have people contact me looking for someone willing to indulge in foot fetish play. I don’t particularly have a foot fetish, (mine is actually stockings and heels) but my profile attract people who do and that’s okay.

I get that people are looking to fulfill their particular fetish, but how about doing some basic investigating first. If someone actually took the time to get to know me, they would find out I don’t really think my feet are pretty. Do they still look great in fishnet stockings and a stiletto; you can be the judge. Believe it or not, the thought of surrendering my feet to someone is much harder to wrap my brain around than the thought of actually having sex with someone….. Weird, I know. (more…)

Written By Fox
From the Kinky Sprinkles Blog
(Posted here with permission from the author)

I have written, and re-written this post about a dozen times. I love to share my knowledge of BDSM with others, to better the community and to better myself. When it comes to talking about my own mistakes and issues, the words don’t quite flow the way I want them to. I even considered never writing about this, just keeping it wrapped up in a little ball of self loathing in my chest. I was hurt in play that wasn’t well negotiated. The two tops I played with are people I love and care about very much. The event destroyed me. I was crippled by anxiety, depression and embarrassment that I had let something like that happen. This writing is still very raw, and probably won’t flow quite like some of my other writings do.

In my local scene I have been known to be rough and tumble. I am the tough bottom. When I bottom I am neither submissive nor well behaved. There is something to be said for acknowledging that no matter how strong someone is, we as humans are fragile creatures. I pride myself in trying to be a solid communicator, and setting my boundaries well. Well, I slipped up. Some casual nudging turned into full blown play. Two tops who I have negotiated with, and played with countless times before (I have spoken with both of them about this event). Who they are doesn’t really matter for the content of this writing. I don’t mean to shame them, hurt them or ruin their position in our community at all. This post is about me, and all the could haves and should haves and lessons to be learned. (more…)

Walking On Fences Leads To Falls

By RedWarrior (FetLife)

“No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other.”

I’ve had this quote stuck in my head today and couldn’t remember where it came from, but turns out it’s biblical. (My Catholic childhood must have planted it.) It’s too true, though. There is peace when your loyalties are undivided and trying to walk on fences almost always leads to a fall.

For many years, particularly when I was newer to BDSM communities, I agreed with the prevailing wisdom that you should never take sides in any disagreement, that there was a virtue in always being “neutral” and avoiding “drama” and in general trying to be a peacemaker. I’d schedule my activities trying to divide my time between groups, never wanting to show preferences, all with the goal that this would help my community, which I cared about, be “peaceful,” “unified.” I was given a lot of positive reinforcement for behaving this way. Neutrality was rewarded with praise. I went along this path for years, well rewarded for staying “above the drama.” Life was good.

Then, one day, something interesting happened. (more…)

Editor’s Note: We LOVE Fetlife. If you aren’t on it, yet, we highly recommend it. However, be aware that it is not a dating site and is not a good place to hook up with partners. Instead, you should use it as a way to find gatherings and classes where you can learn more about kink, how to do it safely, and meet potential partners. 

Fifty Shaders: Welcome to FetLife!

By ScottH (Fetlife)

So you went and saw Fifty Shades of Grey this past weekend, and it made your panties wet. Then you went home and did a google search, and now you’ve discovered FetLife. Congratulations! You’ve definitely found the right place to start learning about what erotic domination and submission are all about in real life. The journey you’re just beginning may very well change your life in ways you can’t yet imagine! This lifestyle has certainly had a profound effect on mine.

But there’s just one little problem. People whose interest in this stuff began with the book or movie Fifty Shades seldom realize at first just how much there is to learn, or how much knowledge and wisdom exists within the community of people who have actually been doing this stuff in real life years before the book and movie came out.

The BDSM community went through this when the book first got popular, so we already have a sense of how newcomers who start with FSOG (Fifty Shades of Grey) tend to at first have misconceptions about real-life BDSM.

The purpose of this post is to help you understand that there’s a whole lot more to this than what you saw in the movie, and to acquaint you with some really excellent resources available to help you learn about real-world BDSM. So far, all you’ve been exposed to was a movie, and frankly, it wasn’t a particularly accurate representation of how we do this stuff in real life. (more…)

Guest Post: “Paintball” by Moonbeam123

Posted: February 2, 2015 by Isaac Cross in Art, Guest Posts

Editor’s Note: It is no great secret that I love needle play. It is my favorite thing either as a top or bottom. But I’ve been doing it for so long (nearly a decade now) that I sometimes forget the fear and exhilaration of the first time. Luckily, every now and then I have the opportunity to provide the experience of a first needle to someone else, to share with them the joy of my favorite kink. After one such occasion, the lovely Moonbeam123 wrote about it. I loved the writing and got her permission to repost it here because I think it is great window into needle play for those who haven’t, yet experienced it, as well as a look back at how many of us felt that first time. Enjoy. +Cross

“Paintball”
by Moonbeam123
Originally posted here on Fetlife.com

Bruise

You get up on this table right? And the whole time you are thinking to yourself. I love pain. But this? And you strip to your panties. A state even some boyfriends never saw you in. And you lay down on the table. He puts on these gloves. Blue surgical gloves. That’s one of the best parts. Then he grabs the box- and you just know. Know what’s to come. And as he opens it. Your heart freezes. And you debate calling it quits but something inside you tells you stay. So you do, because that second voice- it’s louder more desperate. Deeper. Stronger- more innately you. So you lay there. (more…)

The following article was originally posted to Fetlife.com by Andrew Love, of MrAndrewLove.com and is republished here with the permission of the author. 

The Myth of “Protection”
by Andrew Love

I get it! You’re brand new, coming into a kinky world filled with all sorts of people willing to come up to you and they bluntly ask, “Can I do dirty stuff to you?” It can all feel very overwhelming.

I would love to tell you that everyone in the community is safe, that no one on FetLife would ever do you harm, that we manage to filter out every unsavory character. This is not true, they exist and often times the people that will do you harm actually mean the best for you. (more…)

The following article, including footnotes, was originally published at RemedialRopes.com, which is an awesome educational project created by Stefanos and Shay, and has been re-posted here with permission. Please visit the site and support their work. 

Topless_suspension_bondage_at_BoundCon_2013_again_copy

Let’s start with an easy one- here’s a statement I hope we all recognize as bullshit: “Only skinny people can be suspended!” With me so far? Ok. Now, here’s what I sometimes hear as a counter to that particular piece of bullshit: “Anyone of any body size can be suspended!” Unfortunately… also bullshit. It’s a pit of snakes! Let’s jump in! (more…)