|X|C|BDSM|

Editor’s Note: Today’s guest post comes to us from Natalia Sombra of South Florida. We met at the Beyond Leather convention in Ft. Lauderdale. I loved this piece she wrote about an experience she had over the weekend and asked to share it with you all. +Isaac

This weekend at Beyond Leather I had the enormous privilege to meet wonderful new people, build stronger bonds within current friendships and overall have a shit load of fun. (One metric shit load is an actual unit of measurement equal to 1/2 of one metric fuck ton)

For anyone who knows me well enough, they know that I like to explore forms of play I intend to do as a Dominant in a scene by getting a little taste of it myself.
However there is one form of play I hadn’t bottomed for that I really enjoy and I had the opportunity to do so this weekend.

Enter, I head on confronted my fear of being stuck with needles and was reminded of the overwhelming effects complete vulnerability can have on ones mind and emotions. (more…)

Written By Fox
From the Kinky Sprinkles Blog
(Posted here with permission from the author)

I have written, and re-written this post about a dozen times. I love to share my knowledge of BDSM with others, to better the community and to better myself. When it comes to talking about my own mistakes and issues, the words don’t quite flow the way I want them to. I even considered never writing about this, just keeping it wrapped up in a little ball of self loathing in my chest. I was hurt in play that wasn’t well negotiated. The two tops I played with are people I love and care about very much. The event destroyed me. I was crippled by anxiety, depression and embarrassment that I had let something like that happen. This writing is still very raw, and probably won’t flow quite like some of my other writings do.

In my local scene I have been known to be rough and tumble. I am the tough bottom. When I bottom I am neither submissive nor well behaved. There is something to be said for acknowledging that no matter how strong someone is, we as humans are fragile creatures. I pride myself in trying to be a solid communicator, and setting my boundaries well. Well, I slipped up. Some casual nudging turned into full blown play. Two tops who I have negotiated with, and played with countless times before (I have spoken with both of them about this event). Who they are doesn’t really matter for the content of this writing. I don’t mean to shame them, hurt them or ruin their position in our community at all. This post is about me, and all the could haves and should haves and lessons to be learned. (more…)

Walking On Fences Leads To Falls

By RedWarrior (FetLife)

“No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other.”

I’ve had this quote stuck in my head today and couldn’t remember where it came from, but turns out it’s biblical. (My Catholic childhood must have planted it.) It’s too true, though. There is peace when your loyalties are undivided and trying to walk on fences almost always leads to a fall.

For many years, particularly when I was newer to BDSM communities, I agreed with the prevailing wisdom that you should never take sides in any disagreement, that there was a virtue in always being “neutral” and avoiding “drama” and in general trying to be a peacemaker. I’d schedule my activities trying to divide my time between groups, never wanting to show preferences, all with the goal that this would help my community, which I cared about, be “peaceful,” “unified.” I was given a lot of positive reinforcement for behaving this way. Neutrality was rewarded with praise. I went along this path for years, well rewarded for staying “above the drama.” Life was good.

Then, one day, something interesting happened. (more…)

Editor’s Note: We LOVE Fetlife. If you aren’t on it, yet, we highly recommend it. However, be aware that it is not a dating site and is not a good place to hook up with partners. Instead, you should use it as a way to find gatherings and classes where you can learn more about kink, how to do it safely, and meet potential partners. 

Fifty Shaders: Welcome to FetLife!

By ScottH (Fetlife)

So you went and saw Fifty Shades of Grey this past weekend, and it made your panties wet. Then you went home and did a google search, and now you’ve discovered FetLife. Congratulations! You’ve definitely found the right place to start learning about what erotic domination and submission are all about in real life. The journey you’re just beginning may very well change your life in ways you can’t yet imagine! This lifestyle has certainly had a profound effect on mine.

But there’s just one little problem. People whose interest in this stuff began with the book or movie Fifty Shades seldom realize at first just how much there is to learn, or how much knowledge and wisdom exists within the community of people who have actually been doing this stuff in real life years before the book and movie came out.

The BDSM community went through this when the book first got popular, so we already have a sense of how newcomers who start with FSOG (Fifty Shades of Grey) tend to at first have misconceptions about real-life BDSM.

The purpose of this post is to help you understand that there’s a whole lot more to this than what you saw in the movie, and to acquaint you with some really excellent resources available to help you learn about real-world BDSM. So far, all you’ve been exposed to was a movie, and frankly, it wasn’t a particularly accurate representation of how we do this stuff in real life. (more…)

The following article was originally posted to Fetlife.com by Andrew Love, of MrAndrewLove.com and is republished here with the permission of the author. 

The Myth of “Protection”
by Andrew Love

I get it! You’re brand new, coming into a kinky world filled with all sorts of people willing to come up to you and they bluntly ask, “Can I do dirty stuff to you?” It can all feel very overwhelming.

I would love to tell you that everyone in the community is safe, that no one on FetLife would ever do you harm, that we manage to filter out every unsavory character. This is not true, they exist and often times the people that will do you harm actually mean the best for you. (more…)