Archive for January, 2011

Stop Trying to Unify Me

Posted: January 26, 2011 by Isaac Cross in Learn Something, Philosophy

It’s not just here in the kink community, t’s everywhere.

There’s this big need in some people to make everybody love each other and have big group hugs.

But since this is a kinky blog, I’m going to focus on the kinky problem.

Over the last few days, an anonymous person or group has started a push to bring “unity” to the community. And people are jumping on board because it sounds like an admirable goal.

The thing is that whole “communities” are never unified unless they are doing so to combat a shared threat. And that’s always how it is everywhere. The day after 9/11, everybody put up flags and Republicans and Democrats all hugged each other and passed the “let’s blow up Afghanistan” act nearly unanimously and within a matter of days. But sooner or later, when people stopped being scared, we went back to fighting with each other again about tax breaks and abortion.

The only way this community, the people of bdsm/kink/leather, are all going to come together as a single group is if a Senator puts a bill on the floor tomorrow that makes BDSM a criminal offense. Club membership will soar, everyone will donate a bunch of money and we’ll all show up and march to protect ourselves. But when the bill is defeated in a few weeks, we would all go back to our separate little huts until the next dragon comes along.

The only way we will ever have a functioning, cohesive one-world government that covers the entire globe is if aliens attack. Until then, we will continue to be a fragmented world.

And with even the smallest communities, such as the Denver kink scene. We will choose to spend our time with the people closest to our own ideologies and personalities. It doesn’t make us wrong, it doesn’t make us bad, it doesn’t mean that anything needs to change.  We need to embrace and celebrate diversity by letting it run its course. We don’t have to all be in the same parties in order to respect each other.

We have our TNG parties because young people have a different energy to them and I like to spend some time immersed in that energy. That doesn’t mean that I can’t still appreciate the different but equally powerful energy of the elders in our community.

So please, stop trying to unify my community. I don’t want one big homogenized blob. I like how varied and special each individual group is. I like that I know I can get different things from different places.

Should we be sure to be inclusive and make sure that everyone has access to the education and support resources that are available, you bet!

But that doesn’t mean I have to like you or that you have to like me. And the notion that any amount of kumbaya is going to change that inherent fact is just ridiculous.

A Great Honor and Privilege

Posted: January 24, 2011 by Isaac Cross in Uncategorized

This past week, I was offered the position of Dungeon Monitor Coordinator for Beyond Leather, a four day bdsm/fetish event in southern Florida.

After much discussion with my wife and the rest of my family, I have decided to accept this offer and join their leadership team, effective immediately.

I consider this offer to be a great honor and a sincere privledge. I wish to thank Sir Top and slave bonnie, the producers of the event for their trust and confidence in me.

I look forward to working with the incredibly talented and experienced team of volunteers both on the dungeon monitor team, and throughout the rest of the event, for years to come.

Beyond Leather
April 7 – 10, 2011
Ft. Lauderdale, Florida

Major Events for 2011

Posted: January 14, 2011 by Isaac Cross in Events
Beyond Leather 2011, Ft. Lauderdale Florida, April 7-10

I will be joining the leadership team this year as the Dungeon Monitor Coordinator. See the post after this one for more info on that.

Northern Exposure 2.0, Anchorage Alaska, June 17-19

Early this morning, I was notified that I have been invited back to Alaska this summer to present at Northern Exposure 2.0. When I first started presenting, I was told that it’s not what you get invited to, but what you get invited BACK to that reflects your abilities as a presenter.

Now, I’ve been sworn to secrecy until Saturday about who the other presenters at the conference will be, but I am allowed to talk about the other three that have already been announced.

Jim Anderson, from Edmonton in Canada was there with me last year as well. I look forward to seeing him again. John Baku, the founder of Fetlife, will also be there and presenting. Master Obsidien and Slave Namaste (International M/s 2010), who I greatly admire will be doing several classes as well. I love their writing and can’t wait to see them in person.

Teaching at an event along side these distinguished individuals is a distinct honor and a sincere privilege.

The classes that I’ll be teaching will be announced soon.

The organizers of NE2.0 are amazing and have arranged for all sorts of wonderful hospitality while we are there, both during the event, and the week leading up to it. The only cost we have to cover is our airfare, which to Alaska is pretty expensive. So, over the next several months, I will be engaged in several different projects to raise the money needed.


If you enjoy my website and the work I do, please consider donating using the button on the left side of your screen. Any amount helps and is greatly appreciated.

Kinky Karnivale, Wichita Kansas, June 3-5

The weekend before my first wedding anniversary, I’ll be driving the 8 hours to Wichita, Kansas to present at their annual convention and fundraiser called the Kinky Karnivale.

I’ll be teaching two classes, “Defining and Refining Submissive Roles” and “Liquid Latex as a BDSM Tool”

Since it’s so close, I will be bringing a few of my favorite people from Denver along with me for this one.

Thunder in the Mountains, Denver Colorado, July 8-10

I won’t be presenting at this one, just attending. Though I have been known to perform for the Saturday night festivities for the last four years and probably will again.

This is my favorite event of the year and I can’t wait to see some of my favorite people again.

Surprise Super Secret Huge Awesome Event, Denver Colorado, December

I would tell you about this one, but I can’t. It’s a secret. I have teamed up with some other big players in Colorado and we will be hosting a huge, awesome, spectacular event in December.

Wanna know more? You’ll just have to keep checking back here until I decide to announce it.

Off Topic Post: Fuck These Guys

Posted: January 11, 2011 by Isaac Cross in Uncategorized

For those of you who don’t know me personally, I am a politically active individual and I have, on occasion, been described by others as an activist. When I am gearing up to try to pass or prevent the passage of a piece of legislation, it’s common that I feel like I am preparing for a battle. But never, anywhere in my head, do I delute myself enough to believe that my opponents are my enemies.

I have met almost every member of the legislature in our state and all of Colorado’s Representatives and Senators in Congress. There is not a single one of them that I do not believe is acting in their own version of what is best for America. I often disagree with them, I often get angry with them, but I never, I NEVER, wish them physical harm simply because they disagree with me.

Unfortunately, political pundits, and often the politicians themselves (see Sarah Palin’s list of “Targets” below) have increasingly tempted that line between firing up their base for political action versus firing them up for actual, violent action. And over the weekend, the horrifying results of that violent and hate-filled rhetoric has shown itself clearly. The fourth person in the left-hand column of Sarah Palin’s list of Targets was shot in the head, and 6 others attendees were killed, including a federal judge, at a political rally in Arizona. (more…)

Remembering A Deathly Illusion

Posted: January 4, 2011 by Isaac Cross in Events

At The December Gateway, a few weeks ago, I had a scene with my wife. I know her, deeply. And this isn’t the first time we’ve done an intense scene like this. So I knew all the things to say, all the motions, all the sounds that would convince her present mind that what was happening was real, while allowing her deeper mind to know that she was safe. We waited until the end of the night, when only a few people remained. I don’t know to what extent those people really understood what was happening. I tried to keep my words soft, so that they wouldn’t hear what I said to her.

These scenes are hard for me. Somehow separating myself from the things that I am doing to her and saying to her. When it was over, after I dropped my coat over her face, I had to go and sit on the corner of a table and stare at the wall for several minutes. Breathing and fighting back the urge to cry over the terrible noises she had made. The pleading and begging echoed in my head and the voice of my better self began to feel the horror of what I had just done. I could have turned to some of my friends there for help, but how could they understand that I needed aftercare when they just saw what I had done. Some of them who had been there for the abduction may have recognized the face I was making and my body language. Its the way I am when trying to remind and/or convince myself that what I am doing isn’t as bad as it looks.

Unlike the abduction, however, I couldn’t bring myself to write about this. Fortunately, she could. Below, I have linked to her post about the event. And what follows is the introduction that she wrote as a lead in to it.

I Love You, I’ll Kill You
By Rhea, of the City Galatea Blog

We explore our roles throughout many scenes. Top, bottom, fucktoy, princess, boi, pet, furniture…all these things are easy to become, given the right partner, the right circumstances, the right mood.

Now, just because these roles are easy to take on, it doesn’t mean it’s easy to enact them, even upon a willing partner. Can you treat a loved one like an animal? Can you accept their different roles? Can you be the vicious wolf on the edge of the forest, the dark sexual predator? Naturally, that all comes down to negotiation, and how well you know that partner. Giving one another that freedom to be something new and exciting can be amazing and empowering.

Role-play can be a powerful tool for any scene. Perhaps, in a way, it can resolve you of any terrible responsibility. You can do something under the guise of a role, and come back and be the loving partner they knew before. Imagine, all well be well after the fact. You have permission to let loose.

The question beneath all these roles is this: what could you do? Can you take a mask on and off, without owning your actions? What could you do when things like love and respect manage to slip away? What will you let yourself do? What dark fantasies lurk behind that mask that you put on? Could you interrogate your partner? Could you brutalize them?

Could you kill them?…

Illusions and Images

Posted: January 3, 2011 by Isaac Cross in About Me, Learn Something, Philosophy

I wanted to write about this primarily because it is something that I have faced, myself. While I identify as a switch, my actual experiences, especially in public, have been 95-99% as a dominant/top. As a result, this is how people think of me most of the time. So on the rare occasion that I have the opportunity to serve someone I trust in public, I find that people react oddly to it. For a week or two after such an event, people speak to me differently or not at all, seemingly because their image of me has been disrupted or distorted. (more…)