Archive for August, 2015
So, earlier today, TheFerrett posted this commentary (you need a Fetlife account to read it) on the cultural trend of straight-identified men interacting with other men sexually while continuing to insist that they are straight.
For those of you who have followed my writing or spent time talking to me about my journey, you may know that I have grappled with the question of my own orientation and identity a number of times over the last several years.
In December of 2011, I wrote a post called What Makes You Bi?. This was one of the first times that I openly acknowledged that I wasn’t 100% sure that the identity of “straight” was completely accurate for me. (more…)
In a recent statement by a person describing their experience with consent violations, they described how the top in the scene had ignored her limits, attempted to renegotiate the scene while she was in subspace, and ignored her saying “no”. She blamed herself for not using a safeword.
So here is me asking, begging, pleading with everyone to please take safewords off of the pedestal. (more…)
I normally don’t post this sort of thing, but JT’s Stockroom has a toy on sale that I really like, so I wanted to let everyone know.
The T-Cups Nipple Suction Set by KinkLab is the most user friendly suction toy that I have found. They are normally $25, but are on sale for 25% off.
The sale ends today (August 4, 2015), but even if so, they are worth the $25 regular price.
If you don’t like the color or design of these, there is a similar product from Extreme Restraints here for $17
I may do a formal review of these little tools at some point, but for now I will simply say that I like them a lot and if you enjoy suction or nipple play in general, I recommend these, especially given their relatively low cost.
Since the 80’s we’ve used the phrase safe, sane, and consensual to distinguish for outsiders wiitwd from unhealthy abuse. But there are parts of bdsm that…blur the lines of consensuality. Some of us intentionally play with the line between real and not real, giving blanket consent to our partners, playing with consensual non-consent. I personally enjoy con-non con; it gets me hotter than most other types of mental fuckery. I like feeling… Truly afraid. I like it when it pushes past the point of easy, past fun, past feeling like a game. I like it when it becomes real and I become pared down to an animal, all heat and anger and rage and fear, afraid for my life, instincts screaming at me to stop what it is that I’m doing, just certain that I am going to be seriously broken or worse. I like begging, really begging, for my partner to stop, please stop- I’ll do anything that you want, just please stop. I want them to be able to look at me and smile their monster grin and say “Fuck you- I’m done when I’m done.” (more…)