XCBDSM is a proud sponsor of The Colorado Center for Alternative Lifestyles (CAL).
CAL is committed to creating an environment in our state that supports consenting adults who engage in alternative relationship expressions and structures.
We pursue our vision through direct services, education, and outreach, in conjunction with our partners, to directly benefit individuals who choose alternative lifestyles and the communities that support them.
And finally... Our favorite sex toy brand: TANTUS
Below are a couple books that I have found useful and interesting.
For a full list of recommended reading, visit my Bookshelf Page.
Clicking on the images will take you to the Amazon product page.
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This book did so much more just add words to my existing knowledge and experience, as I had expected. This book taught me things. This book changed the way that I think about relationships. All relationships, not just poly. I have spent the last two days lost in thought, re-evaluating a lot of my own choices and beliefs. And that’s good. That’s what a great book like this should do.
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Combines Miss Abernathy’s Concise Slave Training Manual and Training With Miss Abernathy in one deluxe volume.
Replete with updated resources and references, Erotic Slavehood will take its place among the basic BDSM reference manuals.
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Respected columnist and scene leader Rinella has carefully explored how BDSM relationships fit into real people's lives.
From that research, and his own two decades as an active leatherman, he has assembled this sensible, readable manual about how kinky relationships really work.
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XCBDSM has added a new, full-day intensive to our list of workshops and we will be offering it for the first time on July 7th in Denver, Colorado.
The workshop will cover all the in-and-outs (get it) of play piercing from the basic to the extreme.
For information about the class, CLICK HERE.
XCBDSM is THRILLED to announce that we are now offering online webinars of select workshops.
We will be posting them here, as they become available, as well as across all social media platforms.
You can see a list of offered classes anytime by clicking the image.
Or you can subscribe to our email list to receive invites to classes as they are posted.
We are also offering two options for community groups and venues.
Webcast Public Classes
If you would like to host an event locally to view and participate in one or more of our classes, we will be happy to work with you to set that up. In general, we ask that proper video and audio are available for the number of people who will be attending, and that an experienced organizer be in charge of operating the computer during the class in order to pass on questions from the group or lead any breakout discussions during the workshop.
The group registration in online classes is generally cost effective for groups of 10 or more.
Contact us for more information
Custom Private Classes
If you are a community group or venue that would love to have live education from an international sex and kink educator, but can’t afford the cost of flying one in, XCBDSM will work with your group to set up custom private online webinars streamed into your venue. In addition to our core faculty of world-class educators, we also work with a number of other presenters around the country to arrange these events, as well. So if there is a Presenter you’ve always wanted to see, but couldn’t afford to host, let us know and we’ll work with you to arrange it.
Custom private classes are generally cost effective for groups of at least 20-30, but we can work with smaller groups, as well.
1 in 4 people will struggle with a mental health challenge in their lifetime. That means it’s likely someone you care about will be or has been impacted. Would you know what to look for, and how to help?
Become Mental Health First Aid certified, and join thousands of Coloradoans already part of the movement to increase mental health literacy and reduce stigma. Learn the signs of mental health challenges, how to respond, and how to connect those in crisis with support systems.
Find out more about the MHFA program and sign up to be notified of MHFA training in your area by CLICKING HERE.
I am working on a project to try and come up with (either by finding it or creating it) a system for categorizing human relationships in a purely descriptive sense.
Previous attempts to classify or categorize human relationships have mostly focused on the personality of the individual, rather than the objective, observable details that make one relationship different from another. (See Bowlby 1969 & 1973, Ainsworth et al. 1978, Bretherton & Waters 1985, Hazan & Shaver 1987). However, some have attempted to address these more descriptive differences. (See Kelley et al. 1983, Hendrick & Hendrick 1986) But those focused solely on romantic or sexual relationships.
One of the best attempts on the subject that I have found is Kayser, Schwinger, & Cohen (1984) which examined loving relationships, friendships, and work relationships separately.
Foa and Foa’s “Resource Theory” developed in the early 1990’s has a lot of promise, and I may start there. (The theory is that we fundamentally exchange 6 types of resources: love, status, service, information, goods, money. These types of resources vary by the degree of their concreteness/abstractness and by the degree of their unversalisticness/particularlisticness. If a type of resource is universalistic, it means that it maintains the same value regardless who the giver is. Likewise, it is considered as particularlistic if its value depends on who gave the resource.)
Many of these relationship models fail to consider a broader view of relationships. While the discussion of the exchange of status and service in the context of a romantic relationship can be easily tweaked to address D/s dynamics, but the question of an open vs closed relationship is somewhat more difficult to address, especially when love is considered a resource/commodotiy, and therefore is finite or zero-sum like goods or money.
Previous research aside, I am bouncing back and forth between how an categorization system should be approached. Should it be taxonomic (like how we organize species of lifeforms) or should it be more like computer specs, with each feature being independent of each other one?
I would be curious to know if any readers have ideas? Either for places to go for research or an idea for how to approach the problem? I’ll probably be working on this for a while.
XCBDSM is pleased to team up with the Colorado Center for Alternative Lifestyles a two-day weekend intensive.
This weekend will offer over 12 hours of education, valuable to everyone involved with BDSM, regardless of role.
This weekend, the XCBDSM team was at Colorado Leather Fest. We were proud to be the corporate sponsor for the event, but we were there for another, much more exciting reason.
During the opening ceremonies Friday night, we made a big announcement about a new project that we have been working on for some time now.
For a while, we’ve been dropping hints all around the internet, but last Friday, we officially announced the project. (Click that link to read the text of the announcement) (more…)
This weekend, the XCBDSM team will be at Colorado Leather Fest. We are proud to be the corporate sponsor for the event, but we will be there for another reason, as well.
During the opening ceremonies Friday night, we will be making a big announcement about a new project that we have been working on for some time now.
For a while now, we’ve been dropping hints all around the internet, but today, we are releasing much more than just a quick tease. Plus, we’re giving you ways to follow along with all new updates as they become available. (more…)
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