Archive for the ‘Life Log’ Category

7 Years

Posted: July 6, 2017 by Isaac Cross in About Me, Life Log

On July 6th, 2010, we launched XCBDSM. In the first few months, we saw about 1,000 pageviews each month. in 2017, we’ve averaged nearly 16,000 pageviews each month. In total, we’ve had just over 525,000 pageviews and over 300,000 unique visitors from all over the world.

We’ve expanded from just being the blog for Isaac Cross (Then called CrossCultureBDSM), to being a collaboration of educators from multiple countries sharing their knowledge and resources and helping everyone to have better relationships.

It’s been an incredible 7 years. Hopefully, there will be at least 7 more.

Love you all. See you soon.

Do poly? or BE poly?

Posted: June 8, 2017 by Isaac Cross in About Me, Learn Something, Life Log, Philosophy

Someone in a poly group asked this question:

Who preferes saying they are
doing poly or
being poly,
and why?

I personally prefer ‘doing’, as it feels more like a choice.

It’s never felt like a choice for me.

In my teen years, coming of age, I was aware enough to realize that I wasn’t oriented to monogamy the way others were. No matter how much I cared about someone, I never stopped seeing others. No matter how much I loved a person, it wasn’t enough to make me willing to pass up opportunities to connect with other people and know them, too.

So I decided that I would just never allow myself to have deep relationships, because I wouldn’t be able to do that without hurting the people I cared about, because no matter how good they were, they would never be “enough” for me and I couldn’t keep doing that to them.

That was a deeply painful and isolating time for me.

Then I met someone who felt the same way and we negotiated a non-monogamous relationship before either of us knew that anyone else did that, before we knew that “poly” was a thing or that there was a community and books and etiquette.

I have always BEEN polyamorous. And I always will be. It’s not a choice. It’s the only way I can be.

Preparing for my Journey to the Frozen North

Posted: February 15, 2017 by Isaac Cross in About Me, Events, Life Log

10:30am Wednesday
15th of February in the year of 2017

With the lovers’ holiday passed, I turn my attention to preparations for my valiant trek to the frozen north. Not since my travels to Anchorage for Northern Exposure have I faced such daunting latitudes. Yet even then, I availed myself of modern air travel, which I have shunned for this journey in favor of my trusty motored carriage.

Leaving the comforts of my home in Denver is never an occasion to be taken lightly. My other recent ventures to the territories of Las Vegas and New York were great successes. Yet, I must not be over confident. There are many dangers on the Northern Biway, not least of which are people who voted for Trump and are still proud of that.

I will have to keep my wits about me. (more…)

Over this last weekend, I had the opportunity to address the Rocky Mountain Rebellion Convention in Salt Lake City. The theme of the event was “Rebelling Against Shame”. Below is the content of that speech, as well as some additional information.

~~~

[Full Text of Speech]

I joined the kink community on July 16, 2006. In the years since, I have lost track of the many parties, classes and social events that I have attended, but I do know that this is my 26th conference. In that time, many dates stand out, but few more than an evening in November of 2013 when I received a call telling me that a friend in the community had committed suicide.

Across the US, in any given year, 1 in 4 adults will struggle with a mental health problem, but because of stigma, lack of availability, and other factors, only a small percentage will seek help. The good news is research tells us that the prevalence of these issues in the kink community are lower than the general public. However, when people in the kink community do face a mental health challenge, they are far less likely to seek help, largely because they do not believe that their lifestyle will be understood or respected.

In culturally isolated communities like ours, SHAME LITERALLY TAKES LIVES.

That’s why I wear a pin on my vest for suicide awareness and prevention. It’s why our organization in Colorado is working with the NCSF and supporting their Kink Aware Professionals (KAP) list, and it’s why I have spent a huge amount of my time for the last year working to train individuals within the community to recognize the signs of a mental health problem or crisis and offer appropriate assistance. Because in a community like ours, no one should ever have to make or receive that phone call.

The National Behavioral Healthcare Council has set the goal of reaching one million people trained in Mental Health First Aid by the year 2020. I am personally working to see that at least one thousand of those are people within the kink community.

You can help by going to MentalHealthFirstAid.org and finding a class near you. If there isn’t a class near you, CALL ME and I will come and facilitate one.

For everyone who has been lost and for everyone who can still be helped, please do your part.

Thank you.

~~~

National Mental Health First Aid
Utah Suicide Prevention Coalition
MHFA Colorado

The other States in the Rocky Mountain region (Idaho, Wyoming, and Montana) currently do not have a dedicated site for information on local classes. If you live in those states, or any other in the country, you can visit the national website so search for a class near you.

~~~

I am a certified Mental Health First Aid Instructor. I am authorized to provide this training anywhere in the United States. If you would like to organize a MHFA training for your area, please feel free to contact me.

XCBDSM@gmail.com

~~~

Thank you to all who approached me after the speech offering resources, connections and assistance. I hope to be in contact with you all soon. If you don’t hear from me, please reach out to me.

Shame Takes Lives

Posted: August 25, 2016 by Isaac Cross in About Me, Advice, Events, Learn Something, Life Log, Philosophy

That’s the title of the speech I will be giving at Rocky Mountain Rebellion this Saturday in Salt Lake City.

When I read that the theme of the event was “Rebelling Against Shame”, I realized there was only one topic I could possibly discuss.

I will post the full text of the speech the morning after. For now, here’s a short teaser.

~~~

In any given year, 1 in 4 adults in the US struggle with a mental health problem and only a small percentage of them will seek help. The good news is research tells us the frequency of these issues are lower within the kink community, but it also tells us that people who do experience problems are less likely to seek help, primarily because they fear their lifestyle will not be understood or respected.

In culturally isolated communities like ours, Shame literally takes lives.

~~~

Look for the full text of the speech Sunday morning, right here.

The Error of Silence

Posted: June 2, 2016 by Isaac Cross in About Me, Advice, Learn Something, Life Log

For-your-own-good-1024x1024 (1)For those of us to the left of the slash (dominant, top, etc), we often make decisions for the good of our partners without telling them. Even with the best of intentions, these decisions often have the opposite effect if we fail to communicate.  (more…)

Travel Update

Posted: February 13, 2016 by Isaac Cross in About Me, Events, Life Log

I haven’t posted updates in a while, but due to a change in job (yeah, I have a “normal” job), I will be travelling to teach again this year. Here’s some of the dates we have so far:

Feb 28 – March 7: ROME, ITALY!!!! That’s right, I am teaching internationally for the first time this year. March 4-6 I will be teaching four classes at the Rome BDSM Conference. It will be a new experience, since I will be teaching with a translator, but it should be a great time. I’ll be meeting up with a partner of mine who lives in Copenhagen (Denmark) and spending a few days messing around southern Europe before we hit the conference. It should be a blast.

April 8-10: Denver, CO. It’s my home town, but still. Colorado Leather Fest is that weekend. In addition to being there as a representative of ColoradoCAL, I will also be teaching a couple of classes.

April 28 – May 1: Ft. Lauderdale, FL. I will be teaching a couple classes in addition to being the Dungeon Monitor Coordinator for Beyond Leather.

July 7-10: Albany, NY. Weekend of Wickedness. This should be a fun one. It’s out in the wilderness and secluded so the whole event is clothing optional.

 

So that’s what I have on the horizon. If anyone else wants me, I have a very flexible schedule and low demands. Check out my class list here.