Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Isaac Cross Interviewed by Family Affairs

Posted: October 6, 2017 by Isaac Cross in Uncategorized

A couple of months ago, I was invited to be join Ben Robbins and the Family Affairs podcast for an hour-long conversation on kink and non-monogamy.

It was a pleasure talking with them. I hope you enjoy it.

It’s not preference. It’s prejudice.

Posted: September 12, 2017 by Isaac Cross in Uncategorized

It’s not preference. It’s prejudice.

Definitions used in this post.

Orientation = “I experience attraction to this specific set of people and not this specific set of people. My orientation is determined by my attraction, not the other way around.”

Preference = “I am open to these different sets of people but I tend to choose to pursue this specific type.”

Prejudice = I can’t imagine imagine that I would ever date this specific type of person, EVEN IF I EXPERIENCED ATTTACTION TO THEM. 

When you say you “don’t” or “won’t” date black men, or trans people, or any other specific trait of person, that’s not a preference, that’s a prejudice.

I often say “so far, I have not experienced attraction to a cis man, but if it ever happens, I’ll be open to it.” I’ve heard others say something like “I tend not to be attracted to butch women.” Both of these keep the door open while maintaining your right to only date those you are attracted to.

I have no interest in policing you orientation or preferences. I do have a problem with people who would exclude a certain type of person IN SPITE OF their attraction to them. Because that reveals an underlying prejudice. It reveals that they believe that type of person is inherently less valuable than those they “prefer”.

By being definitive and declarative with something like “I only date white guys” or “I’m bi, but I don’t date trans people”, that’s shitty, stigmatizing, and frankly, bigotry.

Maybe when you say those bad examples, you really mean it the other way, that you just happen to not be attracted to a certain type of person. Then say that instead. Because if you don’t say what you mean, no one else can know what you mean.

And if you find that you are attracted to someone, but then reject them solely because you fnd out about a specific trait, then you are prejudiced against that trait. Period. It’s not preference, it’s prejudice.

So for some of you, this is a plea to be more careful with you language and avoid saying problematic shit that makes large groups of people feel othered and devalued. To the rest, it’s a plea to be a better person and fix your prejudice.

500,000 Views!

Posted: May 22, 2017 by Isaac Cross in Uncategorized

Earlier today, we passed 500,000 page views. Thanks for all the continued support and to our fantastic writers and guest authors that make this page great. 

Emailing Me

Posted: February 6, 2017 by Isaac Cross in Uncategorized

For whatever reason, the email I have set up for this website is being bad these last few weeks.

Please use XCBDSM@gmail.com until I can get Cross@XCBDSM.com back up and running.

Is this your first time?

Posted: October 21, 2016 by Jordyn in Uncategorized

My first time skiing: I fell down (a lot).

First time snowboarding: I fell down. A lot.

First time cooking: I made a grape and black olive salad… Thing. It was beyond awful. My next couple attempts weren’t great either (inedibly salty falafel).

First time I picked up a violin for school: I sucked. A lot. It was also terrible.

First time I masturbated with a toy: It was super scary and I wasn’t able to get inside myself. (more…)

Update to QR Resource

Posted: August 10, 2016 by Isaac Cross in Uncategorized

LIMITSWe’ve updated the negotiation quick-reference guide with an image that you can feel free to share around if you like.

We’ve been using the negotiation mnemonic in class for the last couple of years and people keep asking us for something they can save and share, so we finally got around to making one. Enjoy!

Negotiation Guide – Quick Reference

New Record and Thank You

Posted: August 1, 2016 by Isaac Cross in Uncategorized

July was a new record for pageviews and I can’t thank you all enough, especially those who post links to your own websites or social media.

Thanks to our increasing readership, the revenue from the advertising has also been increasing and I think that we can finally afford some of the major renovations to the site that I have been wanting to make for a while now.

Thank you for the ongoing support!!!

PS – I’ll be in Salt Lake City for Rocky Mountain Rebellion and Columbus for COPE later this year. If you are in either of those cities and would like more information, send me an email at XCBDSM@gmail.com