Archive for the ‘Guest Posts’ Category

The following article, including footnotes, was originally published at, which is an awesome educational project created by Stefanos and Shay, and has been re-posted here with permission. Please visit the site and support their work. 


Let’s start with an easy one- here’s a statement I hope we all recognize as bullshit: “Only skinny people can be suspended!” With me so far? Ok. Now, here’s what I sometimes hear as a counter to that particular piece of bullshit: “Anyone of any body size can be suspended!” Unfortunately… also bullshit. It’s a pit of snakes! Let’s jump in! (more…)

The following was originally posted at and has been re-posted with permission. Please consider visiting their educational project at to support safe BDSM practices. 
I’ve thought a lot about the way I want to practice poly in my relationships. Stefanos and I have always been lucky enough to have a relationship that just worked with very minimal need for processing or “rules”, but it’s come to my attention that I can’t expect all my relationships to flow that way…
Note that I’m not in ANY WAY putting this forward as the one true way to do poly. Your mileage may vary. Particularly, I tend to practice a very autonomous brand of poly that is not for everyone, and I’m of the belief that if it’s not working for *someone* in a poly group, it’s not working for *anyone* in a poly group. Some things that are important to me:
-I need to feel secure, and that I am as much a priority to my partner as they are to me.
-Once things go beyond a casual level, I need to know my partner’s other partners (POPs). We don’t need to be besties, or even friends, but we do need to be able to be friendly on some minimal social level.
-I need to know/feel that my POPs respect me and the relationship I have with their partner, and their partner’s autonomy with regard to our relationship. I strongly prefer that they actually be happy (have compursion [sic]) with regards to my time with their partner, but I’ll settle for them respecting it without drama.
-I need to be able to be affectionate with my partner around their other partners without drama/hurt feelings. I’m not clingy, and I’m not talking about taking over if my partner is on a date with someone else, but I won’t hide my affection or change my relationship interactions based on who’s watching. Avoiding being all together at the same time is not an acceptable solution to this issue.
-I need to feel that my relationship with my partner is between us, private on at least some level, and not dictated by/entirely at mercy of my POPs.
-I need to know/feel that my partner’s relationships with their other partners makes them happy. Not all the time, no relationship is perfect of course, but on balance.
The above was originally posted at and has been re-posted with permission. Please consider visiting their educational project at to support safe BDSM practices. 

As I do from time to time, I am re-posting a work by another author who is more qualified than I am on a subject that is both timely and of high importance. This was originally posted on, and I wanted it to be out here where people can see it without a password. 

So here it is, posted with permission of the author, Rigel, who asked me to simply link to, where people can find lots of great articles on various challenges of the BDSM lifestyle. It is a website I highly recommend. I have done my best to preserve the original formatting. 

You are Not the Police: The Hazards of Investigating Consent or Abuse Allegations Within the Scene
by Rigel,


Cross’s Note: As most of you know, I scour the web looking for good content from authors who can speak about concepts, practices, and experiences that I might not be able to write about. Sometimes, I find someone who simply writes it better than I could have. Either way, I want to use this website to promote all the ideas and eduction I can, not just promote myself. So without further ado, here’s this

Self Confidence is the Cure for Jealousy
by Christy Wood

So your ol’ poly Master has brought home a new young hottie and is smothering her with attention. Suddenly you look in the mirror and it is as if your mind is playing tricks and you are looking into one of those carnival mirrors that makes you look 40 pounds fatter.

The pores in your complexion must have grown 10 times their normal size and you either feel your heart has been torn out and are having an uncontrolled hungry for ice cream, or, you’re so jealous that you’re not in you’re right mind and  just about 3/4 pissed off.

I know… believe me I know…… (more…)

Cross’s Note: Ruby writes some really great stuff over at Pegging Paradise and was gracious enough to let me borrow some of her work. Please visit her website and show some love.

Ruby Ryder is a writer of erotic pegging stories and a blog at She lives in Southern California and spends her time spreading the word about the singular joys of pegging and working to encourage a more sex-positive society.

Confessions of a Pegger

by Ruby Ryder,

So what is it exactly that turns my crank when I don a strap-on and peg my guy?

My, my, my…so many things. (more…)

Death of a Kinkster

Posted: November 18, 2010 by Isaac Cross in Guest Posts, Uncategorized

Today, I will be spending a quiet day of healing with my partner Rain. Her long-time mentor and friend, Anita, passed away yesterday. We knew that it was coming, as she was diagnosed with terminal cancer about a year ago. Anita helped Rain to understand herself and her submission and her passion for life in the times when Rain needed it most, and for that, Anita has my eternal gratitude. This world has lost a good person and a wonderful mind.

Thus far, neither of us has been able to manage the thoughts and feelings that have come up since we heard the news well enough to put them into words. Among those thoughts and feelings, for me, was a quiet sort of depression as I thought about how Anita would be remembered.

When I was married last summer, I anguished over my decision not to invite our kinky friends to the wedding. And when I heard this news, one of the thoughts that I had was whether I would make the same decision if, God forbid, something were to happen to my wife. Even as I write this, the thought makes me sick. Most of my dearest friends and closest confidants are my scene friends. I don’t know if I could make it through the loss of my partner, and all the events and protocol that come after, without having them by my side and supporting me.

That thought, that shadow of fear, that gut-wrenching, horrifying notion made work almost unbearable last night. I opened this page four different times to try to write about it and nothing came. But then, one of those wonderful kinky friends of mine wroten essay about that very thing. I told him that I thought he had said it all better than I could and asked him if I could repost it here. As usual, I don’t agree with everything he said, but the spirit of what I had hoped to convey is there.

If you know my wife (or even if you don’t), please send her you good energy as she struggles with the pain of this loss.

“Death of a Kinkster”
By Jeff Jizz
Reposted with Permission

What happens when we die? (more…)