Cross’s Note: As most of you know, I scour the web looking for good content from authors who can speak about concepts, practices, and experiences that I might not be able to write about. Sometimes, I find someone who simply writes it better than I could have. Either way, I want to use this website to promote all the ideas and eduction I can, not just promote myself. So without further ado, here’s this
Self Confidence is the Cure for Jealousy
by Christy Wood
So your ol’ poly Master has brought home a new young hottie and is smothering her with attention. Suddenly you look in the mirror and it is as if your mind is playing tricks and you are looking into one of those carnival mirrors that makes you look 40 pounds fatter.
The pores in your complexion must have grown 10 times their normal size and you either feel your heart has been torn out and are having an uncontrolled hungry for ice cream, or, you’re so jealous that you’re not in you’re right mind and just about 3/4 pissed off.
I know… believe me I know…… You need moral support now more than ever and he can’t hardly talk cause his tongue is down her throat. All of the sudden you’re years of sacrifice have risen up and slapped you hard up across the face in a most unpleasant act of betrayal. (or so your thinking in this frame of mind)
In reality, you are suffering a big blow to your self confidence & security; a self confidence that you may have to boost all by yourself ? (hint to doms)
Come on you can do it! Walks. Exercise. It will help your frame of mind. The love birds will want some space sooner or later, anyway.
In the mean time, remind yourself how awesome of a person you are, which is why you’re lover is with you in the first place. You’re something special and you’re a bigger person than to feel the way you do.
Do you love him?? Do you really love him? Then why aren’t you happy that he is having fun ? And hey, maybe you and her can have something of your own together?
So far you have been thinking every other way but positive. You’re mate has chosen this and its not really for you to say yea or nay about. (Y’know, unless the person is totally obnoxious or something… lol)
Do it for him (or her). And if you would give it a chance you could see just how magical sisterhood (or brotherhood) can be. And this sister can be your greatest ally in this life.
HEY DOMS: I cannot stress enough how important those individual relationships are. Each person with one another and each possible couple together and the three of you together. Let one branch fall and the whole tent will collapse.
This is not like a Sheik who lies around eating grapes all day while he makes his harem of women twirl around. You’ve got to work at it so no one feels outcast , rejected, or being talked about behind their back.
And for all 3 or more of you, try to picture the good times you will bring to one another. You have to be able to visualize a poly relationship as a good thing. And some of you are not doing that. Think positive!
Christy Wood lives in Colorado Springs and has been an activist for the GLBT community for over 20 years.