Archive for July, 2014

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Ok, yes, I know. The release of the Fifty Shades of Grey trailer and the coming release of the film in February means that an even wider audience is going to be exposed to the incredibly inadequate portrayal of BDSM in that story.

And yes, I know. That means that a whole bunch of wannabe kinksters with fantasies bigger than their pain tolerance will be flooding into kink clubs all over the country.

But guys, buried inside of all of that rough are some seriously large diamonds. So let’d all take some deep breaths and look on the bright side.  (more…)

Art Thursday ~ Where Are The Words?

Posted: July 24, 2014 by Isaac Cross in Art



It’s Thursday, so here is an original poem by Raven of girlraven.

Please click the photo to view the original post as well as others by Raven.


where are the words?

I cannot write
Where are the words?
Yet I see her there
She kneels hungrily
Craving what He has
To offer to a girl
Her body aches for pain
Yearns for this discipline
Where are the paragraphs
That show how she needs
To be taken and used
The emotions that fill
Every fibre as she pleases
One, a Man that owns her
Where are the letters
The ones that form
To tell the reader
How she wants His arms
That precious hold
Protecting her, her safety
The same arms that cradle
As her sated body comes
Back down from the highs
The heights He has shown
Shown a girl that wants
To learn, to serve Him
Where is the story
That tells the tale
Of hunger, lust
Desire passion and need
Will it be told
And will it be heard
Waiting for the block
To clear, to give release
So words can be written
Of orgasmic delights
Sweet agony
Moments of bliss
When two share their
Own selves to bond
Join, fuck, take, connect
Be lost in all they are
Her needs to serve a Dominant
His wants for one to please Him
Will the words express
All she can be for One
A pet, a slut, a babygirl
and everything in between
Just a submissive girl
Whose story is lost
for she cannot
Find her words
~ button* ~
The following was originally posted at and has been re-posted with permission. Please consider visiting their educational project at to support safe BDSM practices. 
I’ve thought a lot about the way I want to practice poly in my relationships. Stefanos and I have always been lucky enough to have a relationship that just worked with very minimal need for processing or “rules”, but it’s come to my attention that I can’t expect all my relationships to flow that way…
Note that I’m not in ANY WAY putting this forward as the one true way to do poly. Your mileage may vary. Particularly, I tend to practice a very autonomous brand of poly that is not for everyone, and I’m of the belief that if it’s not working for *someone* in a poly group, it’s not working for *anyone* in a poly group. Some things that are important to me:
-I need to feel secure, and that I am as much a priority to my partner as they are to me.
-Once things go beyond a casual level, I need to know my partner’s other partners (POPs). We don’t need to be besties, or even friends, but we do need to be able to be friendly on some minimal social level.
-I need to know/feel that my POPs respect me and the relationship I have with their partner, and their partner’s autonomy with regard to our relationship. I strongly prefer that they actually be happy (have compursion [sic]) with regards to my time with their partner, but I’ll settle for them respecting it without drama.
-I need to be able to be affectionate with my partner around their other partners without drama/hurt feelings. I’m not clingy, and I’m not talking about taking over if my partner is on a date with someone else, but I won’t hide my affection or change my relationship interactions based on who’s watching. Avoiding being all together at the same time is not an acceptable solution to this issue.
-I need to feel that my relationship with my partner is between us, private on at least some level, and not dictated by/entirely at mercy of my POPs.
-I need to know/feel that my partner’s relationships with their other partners makes them happy. Not all the time, no relationship is perfect of course, but on balance.
The above was originally posted at and has been re-posted with permission. Please consider visiting their educational project at to support safe BDSM practices. 

Hit Me….

Posted: July 22, 2014 by Isaac Cross in Uncategorized



Mailbag Monday – July 21, 2014

Posted: July 21, 2014 by Isaac Cross in Advice, Learn Something

Here are some quick answers from to questions that I have received.

Or… In some cases, questions that someone asked in my general vicinity or somewhere on the internet. But I am answering them here, because that’s where I am.

The questions have been paraphrased or otherwise edited down to the essential details. (more…)

Art Thursday

Posted: July 17, 2014 by Isaac Cross in Art

Today, I would like to share with you all an amazing short film by (produced, written, and starring) Ruby Rose titled “Break Free”. It always amazes me when artists are able to put so much into something without the need for words, dialogue, or overt explanation. The visual stands all on its own and is really powerful.

Ruby Rose is an Australian Model, DJ, Actress, and generally amazing person. She came out as a lesbian when she was 12 and was repeatedly assaulted by classmates, including being hospitalized at the age of 16. For two years straight, she was recognized as one of the 25 most influential gay/lesbian Australians. Her wikipedia page is here if you want to know more about her.

Oh yeah, and did you ever read any books by Roald Dahl? (Best known for Charlie and the Chocolate Factory) Well, Rose is engaged to be married to his granddaughter, clothing designer Phoebe Dahl.

So here’s the video, enjoy.


Social Scoreboard: Twitter Takes the Lead

Posted: July 16, 2014 by Isaac Cross in Uncategorized

We checked all my sites today and it looks like twitter is now in the lead. 37 people are following the XCBDSM twitter account with only 28 following on Tumblr and Facebook. Since we branched out onto social networks about a month ago, Tumblr has been the clear leader in number of followers, but over the weekend, Twitter followers surged and is now way ahead. 

So how about it Facebookers and Tumblrers (?), can you show us a little love? Check out the links to the left (or at the bottom if you are on a mobile device) to get to all of our various social networks pages. Share liberally and help our education efforts reach farther. 

And twitter users, way to go, but the others are going to be trying to catch up, so keep up the retweets and replies. 

Thanks everyone.