Get Ready Guys, Nothing Can Stop Fifty Shades

Posted: July 24, 2014 by Isaac Cross in Advice, Current Events, Learn Something, Philosophy

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Ok, yes, I know. The release of the Fifty Shades of Grey trailer and the coming release of the film in February means that an even wider audience is going to be exposed to the incredibly inadequate portrayal of BDSM in that story.

And yes, I know. That means that a whole bunch of wannabe kinksters with fantasies bigger than their pain tolerance will be flooding into kink clubs all over the country.

But guys, buried inside of all of that rough are some seriously large diamonds. So let’d all take some deep breaths and look on the bright side. 

First and foremost, the influx of brand new people gives us, as a community, a chance to focus for a little while on 101 level kink education, something that is sorely lacking in many communities. I encourage even prominent national and international presenters to dust off their “Intro to Flogging” and “Basic Rope Bondage” classes and get them onto the schedules for February and March. Because there are going to be people who really need those classes. Better yet, “How to Negotiate” or “Recognizing Abusive Relationships Disguised as BDSM” might be good topics for the Spring, too.

Amid the numerous newbies who will attend one event and never be seen again are some people who are genuinely interested and this is a great opportunity to give them a great first experience. Take advantage of it. And keep the douchebag “Master Grey” types away from them.

Leave the necktie at the door, buddy.

Leave the necktie at the door, buddy.

Second, while it may make it harder to distinguish the serious players from the fantasy types, it is a good thing that BDSM is going mainstream. The more old housewives who read it, and the more spoiled rich kids get caught doing it, the faster the laws will shift to de-stigmatize and decriminalize it. There may be a period of increased hostility first, but the trends all say that most people are fine with consenting adults doing freaky things with each other.

Third, and I can’t stress this enough, our community really, actually needs new people. The big conventions and local clubs alike have begun to experience plateauing or declining membership and attendance. The vendors who produce our awesome shit are running out of customers. And more and more of our single kinksters are looking around and seeing that everyone else is already partner’d up. We really need a new wave of kinky people. And like them or not, these books are getting more people interested.

So embrace it for what it is. And stop pretending the last several generations didn’t have popular, wholly unrealistic BDSM smut that shaped them, too. (I’m looking at you Sleeping Beauty, and don’t think you get a pass, either, O).

Treat this event as a threat and bad things will come of it. Approach it as an opportunity and it just may save, or even resurrect, some of our dying or dead communities and help keep our events in the black.

  • Cross



Here’s the Trailer, in case you haven’t seen it, yet, and want to.

  1. DarkSteven says:

    Well written and thought out. We as a community have ALWAYS had the obligation to educate our newbies and keep them safe. We’re just looking at a big influx of them, is all.

  2. Well said. If only a Femdom equivalent were in the offing…

  3. sweetness331 says:

    I agree. It will also be extremely important to talk about safety and consent. I have read the books and I feel like there was an extreme disregard to consent. And I feel like it glorified abusive/unhealthy relationships

  4. ModernDom says:

    All this movie (And the books as well) portray is a psycho stalker that forces someone to dedicate herself in a relationship to him by alienating her from everyone and manipulating her in to doing without her actual consent. This is an ill representation of BDSM. This is more of a story of Mental and Physical abuse that leads to Stockholm Syndrome.

  5. You make some good points. There’s been talk of what’s going to happen with the influx in my local scene, and we’re already talking about increasing the amount of 101 events. What I like to do as an unofficial ambassador/greeter, is talk to newcomers about what they know, what they’re interested in, and give them a crash course in consent culture. I really don’t want the first person someone meets to be someone who preys on them, you know?
    As for the movie, a large group of us in my area are hoping to rent a movie theater for a showing, and MST3K the hell out of it. I can’t watch this without fellow kinksters at my side, but with them it is bound to be a blast.

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