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We’ve updated the negotiation quick-reference guide with an image that you can feel free to share around if you like.

We’ve been using the negotiation mnemonic in class for the last couple of years and people keep asking us for something they can save and share, so we finally got around to making one. Enjoy!

Negotiation Guide – Quick Reference

July was a new record for pageviews and I can’t thank you all enough, especially those who post links to your own websites or social media.

Thanks to our increasing readership, the revenue from the advertising has also been increasing and I think that we can finally afford some of the major renovations to the site that I have been wanting to make for a while now.

Thank you for the ongoing support!!!

PS – I’ll be in Salt Lake City for Rocky Mountain Rebellion and Columbus for COPE later this year. If you are in either of those cities and would like more information, send me an email at XCBDSM@gmail.com

Last night after browsing loads of tumblr porn, I had an epiphany. Y’know. Like you do after looking at porn. But the epiphany needs a little back story.

For…a while now, I’ve been feeling a big shift in my sexual desire. In that I’ve had relatively little of it. Sort of. I’ve had plenty of urging to orgasm, to masturbate and play with toys and look at porn. But I haven’t had a ton of desire to mesh squishy body parts with people…. Sort of. If asked, I would still say yes, I’d have sex everyday if I could. If someone brings up the idea, I’m often into it. But there’s been something about it I’ve never felt before. A sense of work. Perhaps even… boredom? (I apologize now for ellipsis abuse. Just relax and let it happen). It’s this, “been here, done that, got the t shirt, the frustration, the giggles, the orgasms, the sexy feels and happy, sweaty exertions”. I have done it in a house, I have done it with a mouse, I have done it in a box, I have done it with a fox. Boys, girls, and every flavor in between and around the two.

It’s not to say that I’ve disliked the sex. It’s been alright. Having sex with someone is a helluva lot better than doing laundry. I used to say that even bad sex was still better than none, or was still a fun way to spend an evening. But… I’m not so sure anymore. (more…)

Note: I shouldn’t have to say this, but this is obviously just one person’s opinion. The following is based on my observations of the community over the last decade. If it doesn’t match your opinion or your perspective, that is totally ok. I am happy to discuss and even debate in the comments, but non-constructive comments will absolutely be deleted without hesitation. This is a tricky subject and tends to bring out emotions in people. That’s fine, but if you make it personal, you’re gone.

X-Posted Here on Fetlife. I highly recommend checking out the fetlife post, as there is a long string of responses and conversation that I think is very valuable.

TL/DR: If you have a protector listed on your Fetlife profile, you should expect to be (rightfully) ignored by a large portion of the community, who wants nothing to do with you or your protector. You will find yourself struggling more than necessary to find a good partner, no matter how many personal ads you post or how nice you are at parties. In fact, many people will purposefully avoid you.

I am sorry if that sounds harsh or judgmental, but it is simply the truth as I have observed it. And I am FAR from being the only one who thinks so. (more…)

Sometime earlier today, we passed 250,000 page views. Over half of those page views (about 140k) were in 2015. We’ve had more visitors this year than the 4.5 years before.

We greatly appreciate those that have shared our content, contributed writings, and helped us review products from around the web.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for all of your support.

• Isaac Cross

A while back, I wrote a guide to buying inexpensive kink toys on Amazon. A lot of people have used that guide since then, but I have also received questions about what else can be found on Amazon. Last time, I told you where to find the cheap stuff, but is there quality gear on Amazon, too? (more…)

Original Illustration by Odd Agaric

Editors Note: We are please to have added a new member of our team, Odd Agaric, who will be contributing original works of art to accompany articles. We are also happy to have another article from our newest author, KC. Enjoy
+ Isaac Cross

I am a woman.

A human being.

Thus, I have human traits such as emotion. I have the same feelings as any other woman; suffer from the same ailments, live with the same highs and lows from life. I have no choice in being human.

I am also a slave.

I choose to live my life according to the wishes of my master. I choose to serve him. He allows me to continue my profession. I ask for permission to come and go. He owns the vehicle which I drive, he pays all my bills, he handles all the decisions. I am allowed to masturbate with his permission. Living this life is my choice.

Yet the two facets combined can cause some disruption. (more…)