I have been working on this collection of ideas for many years, tweaking and drawing from various sources, trying to come up with a compact set of statements that accurately describes my approach to BDSM (and most of the rest of my life, as well). Over the next few months, I hope to write in more detail about what each of these things means to me and how they are applied in my life. It is always a work in progress, I evolve and adapt my views constantly. These tenants are goals which I strive for in pursuit, not of unattainable perfection, but of excellence.
Core Beliefs
- Participants in BDSM have a responsibility to honor the work of those who have journeyed before us while also choosing a path that is right for ourselves
- Consent is the critical foundation of all participation in BDSM and power exchange.
- Consent is dependent on honesty, integrity, knowledge, and experience.
- Consent requires emotional maturity and mental stability.
- Power exchange dynamics, friendship, BDSM play, and sexuality are distinct bonds. While they can be interwoven, a fulfilling connection between individuals can include any combination thereof.
- Real power exchange relationships must be based in reality, and not fantasy or works of fiction.
- A person deserves dedication, devotion and loyalty from those they associate with.
- The expectation of obedience requires consistent, thoughtful, intelligent, and empathetic command.
- Authority is drawn, initially, from the consent of the servant but must be sustained by the character of those they serve.
- A person should strive to be ever-worthy of their partners and never allow commitment to excuse complacency.
Guiding Principles
Honor
Principle: I will conduct myself at all times and in all situations with honesty, fairness and consistency.
Integrity
Principle: I will strive to live as a whole and integrated person, free of duplicity, and comfortable in my own skin.
Authenticity
Principle: I will represent myself truthfully at all times.
- I will be truthful regarding my origin and background.
- I will be truthful regarding the source of my knowledge or ideas.
- I will be truthful in the portrayal of my personality and desires.
- I will be truthful with my affection and devotion.
- I will be truthful regarding my plans and goals.
Loyalty
Principle: I will act with loyalty to the community and individuals that I associate with.
- I will guard carefully the privileged knowledge that others may choose to share with me and keep such information in the strictest confidence.
- I will treat others with respect and dignity, even when they are not present
- I will encourage others to bring complaints or concerns to the attention of the offending individual, organization, or other proper authority, and will not entertain their complaints or gossip myself except to offer support, advice, or guidance, if requested.
- I will make others aware of any individual who openly expresses hostility or animosity towards them.
Growth
Principle: I will always endeavor to improve myself and my abilities.
- I will watch for and actively pursue opportunities to develop new or existing skills, both within kink and outside of it.
- I will seek the council of others when faced with personal dilemmas or challenges.
- I will honestly and accurately assess my own weaknesses and work to reduce or eliminate them.
- I will approach failure as an opportunity to learn and improve.
Discipline
Principle: I will not allow my ability to maintain self-control to be impaired.
- I will not allow sudden emotions to dictate my actions or choices.
- I will monitor myself for destructive behavior which is habitual or impulsive in nature and will take steps to correct it.
- Use of mind-altering substances will not be permitted to interfere with my health, my responsibilities, or my ability to adhere to these principles.
Education
Principle: I will willingly share my skills, knowledge, and experience with others.
Service
Principle: Regardless of my role in my relationships, my community, or my society, I will pursue a path of service.
Significant influences for this writing include Master Jack McGeorge, Master Skip Chasey, and Master Obsidian.
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