Reckless Abandon

Posted: November 18, 2015 by Isaac Cross in About Me, Learn Something, Life Log, Philosophy, Technique

Last night, I saw a couple play in the dungeon.

A play-by-play of the scene would fail to portray it as remarkable, as none of the individual actions were unique. 

But the total was so much more than its parts.

Underneath the actions themselves was a current of energy and purpose that I can only describe as reckless abandon.

The people playing had no discernible shame or reservation. What they were doing and the way they were playing was unusual for the space, only in that they were a bit more sexual than most, but never once did they care. They played with enthusiasm and joy and authenticity. It wasn’t a manufactured performance or a hesitant experimentation. It wasn’t a plea for approval or a demand for attention. It was a gleeful expression of desire and enjoyment of one another.

It was refreshing.

It’s not to say that there aren’t a lot of scenes at these events that I enjoy. I wouldn’t keep going if it wasn’t already my favorite form of entertainment. But something about this scene was like trying a new kind of seasoning for the first time. Perhaps it was because I had never seen these two individuals before and made an unfair assumption that they would be shy or play timidly. Perhaps it was the unusual high I was riding from my own scene that finished shortly before this. I don’t know. But I know that it made me happy to see and enjoy (from a respectful distance, of course).

I enjoy my play. In fact, earlier that evening I had a great scene that I feel really good about. But I was careful and deliberate, as I usually am. I wasn’t letting loose and living in the moment like they seemed to be. Though, since I was doing a relatively intense piercing scene, that was probably for the best. I don’t think one style is better than the other. In fact, I think variety is usually the best approach.

But I realized while watching these two play, late in the evening, that I have been missing that feeling of free-flowing expression and resolved to try and bring back a little more reckless abandon into my play from time to time.

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