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Beyond Leather 2011, Ft. Lauderdale Florida, April 7-10

I will be joining the leadership team this year as the Dungeon Monitor Coordinator. See the post after this one for more info on that.

Northern Exposure 2.0, Anchorage Alaska, June 17-19

Early this morning, I was notified that I have been invited back to Alaska this summer to present at Northern Exposure 2.0. When I first started presenting, I was told that it’s not what you get invited to, but what you get invited BACK to that reflects your abilities as a presenter.

Now, I’ve been sworn to secrecy until Saturday about who the other presenters at the conference will be, but I am allowed to talk about the other three that have already been announced.

Jim Anderson, from Edmonton in Canada was there with me last year as well. I look forward to seeing him again. John Baku, the founder of Fetlife, will also be there and presenting. Master Obsidien and Slave Namaste (International M/s 2010), who I greatly admire will be doing several classes as well. I love their writing and can’t wait to see them in person.

Teaching at an event along side these distinguished individuals is a distinct honor and a sincere privilege.

The classes that I’ll be teaching will be announced soon.

The organizers of NE2.0 are amazing and have arranged for all sorts of wonderful hospitality while we are there, both during the event, and the week leading up to it. The only cost we have to cover is our airfare, which to Alaska is pretty expensive. So, over the next several months, I will be engaged in several different projects to raise the money needed.

BUT YOU CAN HELP!!!

If you enjoy my website and the work I do, please consider donating using the button on the left side of your screen. Any amount helps and is greatly appreciated.

Kinky Karnivale, Wichita Kansas, June 3-5

The weekend before my first wedding anniversary, I’ll be driving the 8 hours to Wichita, Kansas to present at their annual convention and fundraiser called the Kinky Karnivale.

I’ll be teaching two classes, “Defining and Refining Submissive Roles” and “Liquid Latex as a BDSM Tool”

Since it’s so close, I will be bringing a few of my favorite people from Denver along with me for this one.

Thunder in the Mountains, Denver Colorado, July 8-10

I won’t be presenting at this one, just attending. Though I have been known to perform for the Saturday night festivities for the last four years and probably will again.

This is my favorite event of the year and I can’t wait to see some of my favorite people again.

Surprise Super Secret Huge Awesome Event, Denver Colorado, December

I would tell you about this one, but I can’t. It’s a secret. I have teamed up with some other big players in Colorado and we will be hosting a huge, awesome, spectacular event in December.

Wanna know more? You’ll just have to keep checking back here until I decide to announce it.

At The December Gateway, a few weeks ago, I had a scene with my wife. I know her, deeply. And this isn’t the first time we’ve done an intense scene like this. So I knew all the things to say, all the motions, all the sounds that would convince her present mind that what was happening was real, while allowing her deeper mind to know that she was safe. We waited until the end of the night, when only a few people remained. I don’t know to what extent those people really understood what was happening. I tried to keep my words soft, so that they wouldn’t hear what I said to her.

These scenes are hard for me. Somehow separating myself from the things that I am doing to her and saying to her. When it was over, after I dropped my coat over her face, I had to go and sit on the corner of a table and stare at the wall for several minutes. Breathing and fighting back the urge to cry over the terrible noises she had made. The pleading and begging echoed in my head and the voice of my better self began to feel the horror of what I had just done. I could have turned to some of my friends there for help, but how could they understand that I needed aftercare when they just saw what I had done. Some of them who had been there for the abduction may have recognized the face I was making and my body language. Its the way I am when trying to remind and/or convince myself that what I am doing isn’t as bad as it looks.

Unlike the abduction, however, I couldn’t bring myself to write about this. Fortunately, she could. Below, I have linked to her post about the event. And what follows is the introduction that she wrote as a lead in to it.

I Love You, I’ll Kill You
By Rhea, of the City Galatea Blog

We explore our roles throughout many scenes. Top, bottom, fucktoy, princess, boi, pet, furniture…all these things are easy to become, given the right partner, the right circumstances, the right mood.

Now, just because these roles are easy to take on, it doesn’t mean it’s easy to enact them, even upon a willing partner. Can you treat a loved one like an animal? Can you accept their different roles? Can you be the vicious wolf on the edge of the forest, the dark sexual predator? Naturally, that all comes down to negotiation, and how well you know that partner. Giving one another that freedom to be something new and exciting can be amazing and empowering.

Role-play can be a powerful tool for any scene. Perhaps, in a way, it can resolve you of any terrible responsibility. You can do something under the guise of a role, and come back and be the loving partner they knew before. Imagine, all well be well after the fact. You have permission to let loose.

The question beneath all these roles is this: what could you do? Can you take a mask on and off, without owning your actions? What could you do when things like love and respect manage to slip away? What will you let yourself do? What dark fantasies lurk behind that mask that you put on? Could you interrogate your partner? Could you brutalize them?

Could you kill them?…