|X|C|BDSM|

I have been in the public BDSM community for 8 years. I started teaching about 5 years ago, and I have been running this website for about 4 years.

A few months ago, one of my articles, (SSC vs RACK) was cited in an academic research paper published in a law journal based out of the University of Edinburgh in Scotland.

That’s just really, really cool. Over the years, my work has been referenced by wikipedia, other blogs, and various other websites, but this is the first time (that I know of) that I have appeared in an actual, physical publication. (more…)

In December of 2013, a federal Judge in Utah struck down a portion of the state’s polygamy prohibition, and basically decriminalized poly households.

I know I am, like, four months late on this, but I just saw a very long online discussion where pretty much everyone was confused as to what this meant, so I thought I would try and help as someone who has worked in a variety of different roles around issues of marriage equality and other modern rights issues.

The disclaimer is that, while I have a lot of experience with these issues, I am not a lawyer and nothing here should be taken as legal advice.

(HEY! By the way, if you want a really awesome book about all sorts of non-monogamous relationships, check out my BOOKSHELF PAGE for a book called “Opening Up” by Tristan Taormino. It’s really good.)

Image from lanesoflove.files.wordpress.com

(more…)

This past week, I was offered the position of Dungeon Monitor Coordinator for Beyond Leather, a four day bdsm/fetish event in southern Florida.

After much discussion with my wife and the rest of my family, I have decided to accept this offer and join their leadership team, effective immediately.

I consider this offer to be a great honor and a sincere privledge. I wish to thank Sir Top and slave bonnie, the producers of the event for their trust and confidence in me.

I look forward to working with the incredibly talented and experienced team of volunteers both on the dungeon monitor team, and throughout the rest of the event, for years to come.

Beyond Leather
April 7 – 10, 2011
Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
http://www.BeyondLeather.net

For those of you who don’t know me personally, I am a politically active individual and I have, on occasion, been described by others as an activist. When I am gearing up to try to pass or prevent the passage of a piece of legislation, it’s common that I feel like I am preparing for a battle. But never, anywhere in my head, do I delute myself enough to believe that my opponents are my enemies.

I have met almost every member of the legislature in our state and all of Colorado’s Representatives and Senators in Congress. There is not a single one of them that I do not believe is acting in their own version of what is best for America. I often disagree with them, I often get angry with them, but I never, I NEVER, wish them physical harm simply because they disagree with me.

Unfortunately, political pundits, and often the politicians themselves (see Sarah Palin’s list of “Targets” below) have increasingly tempted that line between firing up their base for political action versus firing them up for actual, violent action. And over the weekend, the horrifying results of that violent and hate-filled rhetoric has shown itself clearly. The fourth person in the left-hand column of Sarah Palin’s list of Targets was shot in the head, and 6 others attendees were killed, including a federal judge, at a political rally in Arizona. (more…)

Yeah, I spent last night with my blood relatives, mostly those from my mother’s side of the family. And we had a very nice evening with very good food. We had a gift exchange and took pictures and played with the kids and welcomed a few new members to the family.

But my time with that family is not what I will remember about this Christmas.

Because this year, santa/God/the universe, brought me more than I could have ever thought to ask for. I have another family. And we share so much more than the occasional meal.

We share our joy and pain
We share our whips and canes
We share our hopes and fears
And sometimes wine and beers

We share our deepest desires
Which in our hearts burn as fires
We share our courage to try
Instead of running to hide

My family is not just my cousins or aunts
It’s those who push me to fight past the “can’t”s
Those that show me what I can become
Those that restore when I start to feel numb

With them, I can let go of falsely facades
For them, I will gladly face terrible odds
By them, I am challenged, the wind at my back
In them, I can see the true home that I lack

Thank you to family present and past
I hope that our memories won’t be the last
But if our two paths never cross ways again
Remember with fondness both laughter and pain

I have been blessed with this family that loves me
And helps me to be what I know that I should
I don’t know if I’ve been changed for the better
But, because I knew you, I have been changed for good

-Cross, 12-25-10 (With 2 lines from Stephen Schwartz’s “Wicked”)
(We’ll be back to your regularly scheduled programming after the new year)

Hey everybody, no big post today, I just wanted to throw up a quick post to say thank you to everyone who has helped to grow this site, from my friends and family who support me (and sometimes write articles for me) and the readers who visit the site regularly.

Thanks to your support, I was recently listed on WordPress’s Blog of the Day on Nov 22 as their 39th fastest growing site.

I had more visitors to the site in 36 hours this weekend than I had in the entire month of July.

So thank again everybody, I hope to keep contributing content that you find worth your time. Keep the suggestions and questions coming, they’re a big help when I can’t think what to write about.

Some upcoming (hopefully) posts:

1. Submissive Roles, Part 3 – Analysis
2. Trust Makes Me Horny
3. Examining Emotions: Gender Equality