Archive for the ‘Advice’ Category

The Science of Conformity in BDSM and Beyond

Posted: February 11, 2011 by Isaac Cross in Advice, Learn Something, Philosophy, Reviews (Web)
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Ever wonder why people in a political party, who are ordinarily diverse and varied, all seem to hold the same opinions when it comes time to vote? Ever wonder why kinky people, who rant about society judging us, all seem to be so judgmental of each other?

Well, there is actually a science to this. Call it peer-pressure or conformity, but it is a fascinating subject either way.

Watch this video. It’s ten minutes long and will make you a better person. And he will tell you why it will make you a better person at 7:10 into the video. But don’t cheat and skip ahead. At about 5:50, start thinking about communities that you are a part of, whether kinky or political or hobby based. I bet you’ll recognize some things.

After you’ve watched the video, read the rest of this post for my favorite parts and a few extra thoughts.

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Guest Post: Self Confidence is the Cure for Jealousy

Posted: February 10, 2011 by Isaac Cross in Advice, Guest Posts, Learn Something
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Cross’s Note: As most of you know, I scour the web looking for good content from authors who can speak about concepts, practices, and experiences that I might not be able to write about. Sometimes, I find someone who simply writes it better than I could have. Either way, I want to use this website to promote all the ideas and eduction I can, not just promote myself. So without further ado, here’s this

Self Confidence is the Cure for Jealousy
by Christy Wood

So your ol’ poly Master has brought home a new young hottie and is smothering her with attention. Suddenly you look in the mirror and it is as if your mind is playing tricks and you are looking into one of those carnival mirrors that makes you look 40 pounds fatter.

The pores in your complexion must have grown 10 times their normal size and you either feel your heart has been torn out and are having an uncontrolled hungry for ice cream, or, you’re so jealous that you’re not in you’re right mind and  just about 3/4 pissed off.

I know… believe me I know…… (more…)

Examining Emotions: Gun Play

Posted: October 25, 2010 by Isaac Cross in Advice, Learn Something, Philosophy
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Recently, there was a massive discussion in one of the forums that I follow regarding gun play. Specifically, the discussion began with a person asserting that gun play should never be taught at public BDSM events because “it can never be safe.” (Check out the comments for an example of this type of person)

Upon further examination, it is clear that we, as a society, have worked so hard to scare people about the dangers of guns that we forget that they CAN be handled safely and that, without bullets, a gun is just a hunk of metal, no more dangerous than a steel pipe.

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Who’s the Master around here?

Posted: September 10, 2010 by Isaac Cross in Advice, Featured Posts, Learn Something, Philosophy
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“I am not a Master because I say so, but because people older and wiser than me have said so” -Master Skip Chasey

Those words stuck with me. It was one of the first classes I ever attended on a BDSM topic. The title was “The Servant Master” and it was, and still is, one of the most influential and memorable events of my life.

It is nothing new, but recently my attention has been drawn to the ongoing frustration that many members of the community feel in regards to new (and usually young) individuals who choose to use the word “master” before their name. As I have participated in these discussions, I have done a lot of thinking on the matter and decided to go ahead and write about it.


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