Rough Take: Self-Sabotage

Posted: September 17, 2019 by Isaac Cross in Advice, Learn Something, Rough Take

I host/facilitate/staff a lot of social events within sex-positive communities. As a result, I overhear a LOT of flirtatious conversations.

There is this heartbreaking thing that I see happen CONSTANTLY where I’m listening in on a conversation and this dude is about to get laid in a life-changing way. I know her, she’s gonna turn your world upside down, my dude. Just DONT FUCK IT UP.

And then the guy says something gross about trans people or says he would only be in a threesome with two girls, or whatever. Something completely unnecessary to say that shows he isn’t ready for the good good. And maybe never will be.

And she hears it and her whole demeanor changes. He doesn’t notice, he still thinks he’s in, cuz she was flirting a second ago, but he didn’t notice that he just cock-blocked himself by saying some ignorant, closed-minded bullshit.

Now she’s looking for the posted exits from this conversation but he’s just plowing on like the black knight refusing to acknowledge the mortal wound his chances with her has just suffered.

The guy probably isn’t a bad person. But he hasn’t realized he’s in a room where you need better than a penis and high school level charm to get anywhere. He hasn’t realized that there’s homework he hasn’t done. These hot alt folks are a master class in human sexuality and he’s not even up to date on the remedials, let alone the full list of prerequisites. But she might have waved those requirements if he had just not said some stupid shit that didn’t need to be said. For one night of fun, she might have been willing to not look too close at him, but then he felt the need to shove his asshole in her face like a cat so she can’t possibly ignore it.

And I just cry inside. Because he doesn’t know what just happened and probably never will.

I’ll pour one out for you later, man. After I subtly suggest you attend one of my classes.

  1. Concerned Citizen says:

    I don’t know where to begin…this is terrible. What a sad way to look at how humans connect. And not helpful in the slightest. You make me feel dirty…

  2. Evy says:

    Hi, so my name is Evy and I’m have always been fascinated by the BDSM lifestyle. It really intrigued me when I first read about it, I’m just not sure how to get involved with it and how to be apart of the community. I want to learn more about how to be a submissive, but I’m not sure if people like me who have no experience being one would even get into the since. So what I’m asking is how do I go about being a submissive? where would I even go to figure out if I truly do like BDSM and being a submissive?

    • Isaac Cross says:

      I recommend starting on our “Bookshelf” page. Threre’s a lot of good stuff there. After that, try to connect with a local community and attend some social functions.

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