XCBDSM is a proud sponsor of The Colorado Center for Alternative Lifestyles (CAL).
CAL is committed to creating an environment in our state that supports consenting adults who engage in alternative relationship expressions and structures.
We pursue our vision through direct services, education, and outreach, in conjunction with our partners, to directly benefit individuals who choose alternative lifestyles and the communities that support them.
And finally... Our favorite sex toy brand: TANTUS
Below are a couple books that I have found useful and interesting.
For a full list of recommended reading, visit my Bookshelf Page.
Clicking on the images will take you to the Amazon product page.
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This book did so much more just add words to my existing knowledge and experience, as I had expected. This book taught me things. This book changed the way that I think about relationships. All relationships, not just poly. I have spent the last two days lost in thought, re-evaluating a lot of my own choices and beliefs. And that’s good. That’s what a great book like this should do.
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Combines Miss Abernathy’s Concise Slave Training Manual and Training With Miss Abernathy in one deluxe volume.
Replete with updated resources and references, Erotic Slavehood will take its place among the basic BDSM reference manuals.
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Respected columnist and scene leader Rinella has carefully explored how BDSM relationships fit into real people's lives.
From that research, and his own two decades as an active leatherman, he has assembled this sensible, readable manual about how kinky relationships really work.
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This weekend, the XCBDSM team was at Colorado Leather Fest. We were proud to be the corporate sponsor for the event, but we were there for another, much more exciting reason.
During the opening ceremonies Friday night, we made a big announcement about a new project that we have been working on for some time now.
For a while, we’ve been dropping hints all around the internet, but last Friday, we officially announced the project. (Click that link to read the text of the announcement) (more…)
Editor’s Note: We found this article to be well thought out, funny, and interesting. With permission from the author, we are sharing it here for all of you.
Lifted from: Advocate.com
Article by: SUNNIVIE BRYDUM
I am a queer cisgender woman partnered with a queer transgender man. Because both my partner and I identified as queer before we met — and because I met him after he began his transition — we’ve never had to navigate the often tumultuous waters of being in love while one partner transitions.
Instead, we find ourselves often navigating the equally murky waters of fighting to be visiblein a culture that broadly perceives us as heterosexual. I’m aware that there are cis-trans couples where one or both partners identify as straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, or pansexual — that just isn’t us. It never has been, and it’s always been important to us both to be out and open. It’s our little form of personal activism.
But being the partner of someone who is part of a minority community that, at best, is enjoying some supposedly newfound “fascination” focus in the media has its own set of challenges. These are just a few of those challenges I’ve encountered, and heard reflected back from other women partnered with trans men: (more…)
This weekend, the XCBDSM team will be at Colorado Leather Fest. We are proud to be the corporate sponsor for the event, but we will be there for another reason, as well.
During the opening ceremonies Friday night, we will be making a big announcement about a new project that we have been working on for some time now.
For a while now, we’ve been dropping hints all around the internet, but today, we are releasing much more than just a quick tease. Plus, we’re giving you ways to follow along with all new updates as they become available. (more…)
I have had multiple people approach me in the last few weeks about helping them plan some kind of “surprise” scene for someone. Some wanted to organize and plan abductions, some wanted to set up a first group play experience for someone, and others were simply looking for the right way to go about doing something to/with someone without explicitly talking to them about it first. (more…)
“Ooo magnets!!” was the thought I had when I stumbled across THESE bad boys on JT’s Stockroom. I have to admit, I’m a sucker for cool new toys and new tech (or, in this case, perverting rather old tech). I’m also a clip and clamp slut (seriously- I own like a hundred clothespins in varying tensions and sizes, plus I have a giant box of binder clips, hair clips and plastic clamps from the dollar store). So naturally, I had to snag ’em. Their $20-34 price tag also made them pretty appealing. I purchased the XL, heavy duty versions that apparently have a stronger, more intense attraction that’s only a couple bucks more. (more…)
Editor’s Note: I occasionally share videos made available by my friends and colleagues at Kink.com’s education website, Kink University. This is not porn, it’s education provided by people who seriously know their stuff.
These videos are available for individual purchase, bulk purchase, or by purchasing a monthly subscription for about $12/month. As a part of XCBDSM’s partnership with Kink.com, ff you access the site using the links provided in my posts, (whether you purchase a monthly subscription or an individual course), a large portion of the cost is shared with XCBDSM to help us continue to offer educational resources on this site and at in-person workshops across the country. Thank you for your ongoing support.
Giving and receiving oral sex is such a vulnerable and sensitive part of sexuality, it can be difficult for some BDSM tops to maintain a role of dominance throughout. Danarama and Mona Wales demonstrate amazing techniques that will not only make you the boss when it comes to giving (or getting) head, but also establish and maintain a powerfully dominant energy and guide your partner into giving you the best blowjobs.
I love this post. It’s great advice. For more awesome Poly tools, pick up the book “More Than Two” by Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert
– Raven Kaldera, “The Polyamory Contract”
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So I spent the bulk of this weekend in Ottawa, and one of the things I did there was teach a polyamory / non-monogamy workshop at Venus Envy. It was cool! Great turnout (22, woo-hoo!), thoughtful people, and a wide range of experiences – from total non-monog newbie to lifetime poly folk. Very interesting.
Normally when I teach, I really like to make things really interactive. But I’ve noticed that sometimes that’s not satisfying to people. For a lot of folks, when they show up to a workshop, they really want to come out of it with concrete, practical tools that will help them incorporate a new philosophy or practice into their lives. Now, telling people how to live their lives is kinda obnoxious, in my humble opinion, so I’m usually loath to approach a topic as though I have the monopoly on know-how. Especially when…
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