Ask A Feminist: Is BDSM Inherently Misogynist?

Posted: July 15, 2014 by Isaac Cross in Uncategorized

I am not entirely sure how it happened, but somehow the majority of the people I follow on the Tumblr platform are women who post a lot about gender issues. This has given me the opportunity to hear a lot more about the subject than I had in the past.

Often, however, when I attempt to engage with questions or disagreement, I am attacked for my participation in BDSM and told that my participation in the discussion is not welcome.

I am sensitive to the fact that, as a male, I am not in a position to assert any sort of authority on gender equality. But to be excluded solely for my private sexual preferences or interests is unreasonable and, in my opinion, inconsistent with the tenants of feminism, which generally seeks to empower women to make their own decisions, especially when it comes to their body, including the choice to give that control to someone else if they wish.

But don’t take it from me. Here is a post that articulates it very well.

The Belle Jar

Q: What is your opinion on BDSM? Obviously people should be free do to whatever they want in the privacy of their bedrooms… but don’t you get suspicious when guys nonchalantly admits to enjoy getting off at the thought of humiliating and/or beating  a woman? Doesn’t it sound like they’re reinforcing negative stereotypes that are already omnipresent in our society, only in this case they can get away with it because it’s – supposedly – a consensual fantasy? Is it just a fantasy, after all? Do fantasies happen in a vacuum? Aren’t there going to be ramifications? Where do they come from in the first place? We can criticize women’s portrayal in mainstream media, but we can’t do the same with BDSM? Why? As for female submissives… isn’t consenting to the re-enactment of abusive and exploitative scenarios a bit self-destructive? Or am I taking away women’s agency by pointing this…

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